It would seem that fidelity is not such an extensible concept (unlike a smile) that it can be interpreted differently. You are either true or not - no halftones and double meanings.
However, as psychologists have found out, fidelity through the eyes of a man looks different than in the female version. What are the differences?
In the broadest, generally accepted sense of the word, to be faithful means not to change. But further reasoning can lead far: what is generally considered treason?
Why are ladies jealous?
A woman thinks more about the sensual side of the issue. The lady shrewdly sees potential danger where there seems to be none. She is jealous when her husband only looks at the elastic forms of passing ladies.
She becomes annoyed when he fondly refers to his "just an old friend". She will be hurt by the thought that her husband can think about someone else, dream about a neighbor, be nostalgic about the former.
If we delve deeper, we will see: a lady is concerned about the very possibility of communication with another woman (both physical and sensual). It is not so important for her whether something has already been or is still planned - emotional betrayal has already occurred.
What Gentlemen Won't Forgive 
A man is more concerned with the physiological side, simply put - with sex. After all, the lady of the heart to some extent belongs to him. And he, as a very meticulous and stern owner, will be outraged that someone used his property without asking.
A woman, of course, is not a thing or movable property, but evolution is powerless here. Men are jealous of everything they have.
Husband cares about a perfect action that has become a fact. The husband will ask his wife: “Did you have it or not? Speak!" And the answer is everything.
chances of salvation
If we compare the understanding of fidelity in men and women, then we will come to the conclusion: a guy is more likely to forgive a girl for a platonic relationship than sex (she thought, dreamed, corresponded, but did not go to bed).
The lady is able to forget about her husband's betrayal, if it was just sex, and no feelings other than passion. But a long romance based on correspondence and the relationship of souls hurts her much more.
Male fidelity is a myth
Scientists have long been assuring us that the stronger sex is so polygamous by nature that it cannot control itself.
He himself, perhaps, will not take the initiative, but if he ends up at a party without a wife, drinks too much and falls victim to an insidious seductress, write wasted.
Therefore so a large percentage of men who do not deny the possibility of physical infidelity(as much as 70%).
The gentlemen themselves are sure that once or twice it is possible, and it cannot be called infidelity (if only the spouse does not find out). After all, the family for them remains in the foreground.
Here we see the famous contradiction: the guys believe that the so-called "just sex" (casual, without feelings and long-term plans) does not prevent them from remaining faithful to their wives - loving, protecting, respecting them.
However, having learned that their women also had "just sex", they are in no hurry to forgive.
The husband of my friend very precisely formulated the main rule of marital fidelity, which all gentlemen adhere to: “A husband can do everything, just be careful. Wife - nothing.
At the same time, the family remains the most important value for them. A possible adultery takes place as if in a parallel world and does not concern her in any way.
Why women cheat less often 
The lady, with her inherent cunning and wisdom, could easily cover her march to the left. If only she wanted to go there. And this is the main difference: a psychological, emotional connection with a candidate for lovers is important for a woman.
Just like that, for beautiful hips and an eagle look, only a lady who is very experienced in these matters will go to bed. The rest want romance, sweets and bouquets.
Therefore, one has to either give up cheating altogether, or take risks, start a long-playing romance and live a double life.
For a woman, her own infidelity is a very serious and more than once deliberate step that can destroy a family. She can commit adultery, guided by the most unexpected motives - the desire to take revenge, out of anger at her husband or out of everyday boredom.
Having fallen in love with a boyfriend on the side, a woman can leave the family forever. But men never leave their wives for random mistresses.
Recently, there has been very little time, I will try to make at least some short notes, than nothing at all and even better. Today, I will again talk about the main female quality No. 1 - fidelity.
Female fidelity is needed so that a man is sure that his woman = only him, so that he is sure that no matter what happens there, quarrels, scandals, spending time from each other, or is there a flight, business trip, army , financial problems, injuries, health problems, etc., etc. = a woman will be faithful all the time until the end, that she will not go to another, in which case, this is first.
And secondly, a man must be sure that the children from this woman = that is, HIS (this man), that this is his family, his offspring, his genetic line, that he will educate, invest resources, etc. in his part, into his “flesh and blood”, and not into the offspring of some kind of Kolya, Vasya, petit, pYkapers, etc. from this category. Do you understand, dear? These are extremely important things.
I can’t even convey how important it is, for a man, a woman’s 100% devotion (fidelity) to only one man and the upbringing, etc. of her genetic line (offspring).
That's why, the number 1 feminine quality is LOYALTY (DEVOTION). A worthy woman = first of all = a faithful (devoted) woman. If there is no fidelity (devotion) = this is not a worthy woman.
Understand, I don’t invent it, I invent it, etc. What do I need? I just say it like it is, in fact, without lies and falsehood, pink snot, fairy tales, and other garbage. I tell it like it is. I speak the truth. Understand...
For a successful tandem (union) between a man and you, a woman, you must be faithful (devoted) to your man. And this is at least. That's the most important thing, you know? A man should have a different quality (in short, this is RESPONSIBILITY). Only in this way can the union (tandem) be successful.
Union (tandem) between a man and a woman = what is it? Think and answer for yourself...
In fact = this is a deal. Agreement. I know you don't think so, love-carrot is all business. But, in fact, it really is. A man must and does one thing = a woman must and does another.
A woman should be at least (attention, at least) faithful to a man, and give him his children (offspring), = these are women's duties in a deal, and a man, in turn, must feed, clothe, protect, care for, support a woman and offspring (children), these are men's duties in the transaction.
Something like that. So the union will be successful. Without these paramount (most basic) qualities, full-fledged relationships (union, marriage, tandem) simply simply never exist. It is a fact!
Param-pam-pam...
Loyalty (devotion) is the most basic thing that should be in a girl / woman. Unfortunately, in our time - most girls / women = alas, do not have this quality.
Probably every young lady considers herself worthy = reading these lines, well .. without further ado. I don't want to poke anyone's nose, read lectures, gloat, order something around, etc., etc. I don't give a fuck. Again, just saying it like it is, according to statistics, 70% of women cheat on their men. Fact!
We live, in a sense, in a terrible world in which moral norms, moral principles are completely absent, there is no corresponding worldview, ideology, etc. etc.
Previously, women had a corresponding outlook on the account that a woman should be faithful (devoted) to a man. There was a certain ideology, but now what? There is no certain ideology = as such, it is absent or very blurred, so many girls / women at the level of worldview = do not have any restraining beliefs (factors) (that you need to be devoted).
For good, a girl (woman) should be well brought up, with moral principles, and this largely depends on upbringing, on parents, how parents raised, what they invested in their girl, and whether they invested at all. Understand? That and not only parents decide in this matter, but also society, the school there, the people around them, university, college, the Internet, friends, even my articles, etc. etc. everything affects the worldview of a person, as a consequence of his subsequent behavior.
After all, who does not know, worldview = determines actions. Do you understand? So, all this is putting into the head of the child = puts into the head a certain idea of what is good / what is bad. Well, as I said earlier, there is no certain ideology (NOW IN OUR TIME) (or very blurred). That's why modern girls/women (most of them) = they don't have any deterrents about fidelity (no definite worldview) so we have what we have… in other words, s*x is very, well, just very easily accessible, a bunch of easily accessible girls, incl. married, nothing holds anyone back, a bunch of skins, etc., whores, etc.
Therefore, it is extremely important for men to choose the right partner for themselves. From my own experience, which is not yet so great, I will say that the most difficult thing is to find exactly that woman. Decent woman. Which will be suitable not only for this one parameter (fidelity), but also for many others. But, as I said, even the elementary (loyalty / devotion) = hard to find, because there is a shortage ...
By the way, in order to be with a worthy woman, you yourself need to be a worthy man. What I mean is that many of us men look at women and evaluate them, but at the same time forget about ourselves. And this is a key fundamentally wrong moment. To be with OGOGO what kind of woman = you yourself must be OGOGO what kind of man. It simply cannot be about another. Remember this, like our father.
And I tell this so that men understand in many respects = fidelity (loyalty) of a woman depends not only on her moral principles, ideology, upbringing, but also on what kind of man you are.
In a nutshell, if a woman has moral principles, she is well brought up, with a certain ideology, loyalty / devotion to a man, and YOU completely suit her as a man = she will not change. Will be faithful/devoted. Therefore, men, firstly, need to choose their partner correctly (if you have no experience in these matters, with women, it will be difficult for you to understand how and what, you need experience), and secondly, upgrade yourself to the level of high-ranking worthy men, otherwise, you will lose to more adapted males in natural selection, I hope you know what natural selection is and how it works ... and thirdly, you need to work on your relationships, work with your woman, close her qualitatively and regularly needs. A complete list of women's needs in this article:). Study.
Oh, and yes, the joke is still largely in the fact that many men, even such a la-ulu, consider themselves = worthy. In general, here without further ado. You need to objectively evaluate yourself, otherwise, this evaluation will be meaningless. And anyway, why lie to yourself? Think about it.
I have my shortcomings, and jambs, and mistakes, and gaps here and there, and I admit it. There are no ideal people, everyone has their own cockroaches, viruses, problems, shortcomings, etc., etc., don’t think that I’m some kind of special, and I’m spared from everything once I tell you a lot of really useful (sensible) things.
My most important message now is that I try to take everything into account, analyze everything = do not stand still, I develop in all areas, move forward, become better. And this is my message to you, I recommend the same to you. Develop. Pump up. Get better. Good luck to you.
Conclusions,
For women
Feminine Quality #1 = Loyalty. A woman without fidelity (devotion) = not a worthy woman. A worthy woman = first of all, a faithful (devoted) woman, she has certain moral principles, she has the right good upbringing, a certain ideology (worldview), that it is impossible to change, categorically, that you need to be faithful (loyal) - because it is really right - that's how it should really be. Such girls / women = in our time = very few. Jokes aside. Units. But this is the number 1 quality. worthy woman.
You understand, each creature has a pair and they get what they themselves are. If you don’t even have loyalty (devotion), then dreaming of a prince on a white horse is stupid. This will never happen. Worthy men = need worthy women, and worthy women = first of all faithful women.
I am now trying to plant the right beliefs in you. In women. In girls. In girls. If you want a successful tandem (union) with a man and a worthy man = you must be a worthy woman, and I will repeat myself many times - first of all - you must be faithful (devoted).
This is at least. This is the foundation. Base. Without this, nothing will happen. Dot.
For men
- 1) You need to choose the right woman for yourself (well-bred, with moral principles, highly moral, with the right worldview, ideology - you can’t change, you need to be faithful (devoted) - because it’s really right - it should be so).
- 2) To be GOOD what a man (worthy, high-ranking) (more:)
- 3) Work on your relationship (with your woman) (that is, close all women's needs, more about them in the article:).
- 4) Only in this case - everything will be ok.
Regards, Administrator.
I no longer believe in mutual love! Always one loves, and the other only allows himself to be loved. Accordingly, if a woman loves, and the guy feels it, then he will look to the left, or simply will not appreciate her. I came to this conclusion at the age of 40. For many years I built relationships according to logic and profit, calculated my steps, almost always had parallel lovers - well, everything was fine, the man felt that the woman did not belong to him completely, that her interest extended not only to him and was subconsciously afraid lose me. Then, in recent years, I stopped needing financially and decided to create an honest relationship, be faithful to one man (before that there was no such thing), and you know, I regretted it! I tried with two men like this (not at the same time), I was deeply in love with both, I was decent, honest as much as possible, sincerely wished them well (before that I was guided solely by my own benefit and interests), and I realized that this is not appreciated !! This is not necessary for men! They are interested in when, as I used to cheat, so that they suffer from questions like where is she, and does she love me, so that they don’t have confidence, so that a woman would realize hers on the side, and would come to them with a smile and a calm and cold head ... Then they can love. The conclusion suggests itself that there is no mutual love! Loyalty is not valued! I don’t want to love anymore, men need bitches, let them say that women ...., they themselves make us like that, they are not interested in decency! Or am I doing something wrong? And did something wrong? But many years of experience with different men earlier and my two very diligent attempts to create honest relationships, to allow myself to fall in love and show it to men, and their complete failure in the end lead me to the conclusion that mutual love does not exist in principle, and that it is impossible to love, if you want to be loved...Men do not value loyalty, they like it when they cheat
Hello, Elena.It seems that you are experiencing disappointment in the men with whom you wanted to build a relationship and in your entire previous picture of the world.
Many men really have a consumerist attitude towards women. And this is common in our country.
For such men, it is really important that a woman be a comfortable car that serves his interests, cares, smiles, does not load, etc.
Men who adhere to a patriarchal picture of the world and / or are brought up in patriarchal traditions cannot see an equal relationship partner in a woman.
The individual character traits of a particular man can further aggravate this picture.
You describe those who are not able to appreciate a woman they can trust, those who are ready to appreciate only a woman whom they can lose at any moment. It's such a special way to build relationships. Just imagine, if you value only what others may need and take away from others, then you perceive your partner not as a person with free choice, but as a resource, a trophy that can be taken away by others. This attitude towards a woman is typical for those men who objectify women and do not consider them an equal free partner capable of making their own choice.
Historically and socially, it so happened that in some places there are more such people, in some places there are fewer.
You cannot influence the number of such men in your environment, and this is of course sad.
What you can influence is how you choose or not choose these people for a relationship. If you do not think about your own mechanism for choosing a partner, it may seem that this happens by itself. However, it is not.
In individual work with a psychologist, you can figure out how you choose a partner and change this process.
If you need help with this, please contact me, I'll be happy to help you.
Sincerely, psychologist,
Makarova Lola.
Someone says that for men, beauty is in the first place among female qualities, someone claims that they value kindness, and for someone, tenderness and femininity are important. But What do men really appreciate in women? After all, women have a certain idea of an ideal man - he must be reliable, caring, faithful, etc., which means that men also have in their heads a certain image of a woman that they would like to see next to them.
We are now talking about when a man considers a woman for a serious relationship and is not looking for an easy relationship, in the latter case, it will be enough for a man if his chosen one is pleasant in appearance and relaxed in bed, but if he wants to connect his fate with a woman, then accordingly and more demands will be placed on it.
Values of men at different ages
Before identifying the basic requirements, a small amendment should be made, which depends a lot on the age of the man. AT aged 18-25 years a man still doesn’t really think about creating a family and he is more attracted to relationships without special obligations, he thinks much more about how he can get on his feet and make a good career. Therefore, he subconsciously looks for women who are outwardly frivolous with a beautiful appearance and seductive forms, while the inner content is not so important to him. At such a young age, men's blood boils, and they want to conquer as many charming people as possible.
By the age of 30 or a little later, everyone has a slightly different need for a family and a long lasting relationship. Appearance is certainly important, but you can’t attract him with one beautiful shell, a man evaluates a woman as a potential mother of his children and the keeper of the hearth, and if she is not suitable for this role, then he can flirt with her as much as he likes, but he will not offer anything serious. Also men of this age value wisdom and experience in a woman, which is sometimes so lacking for young girls.
Men after 40 want understanding and harmony to reign in their relationship, the woman could understand him perfectly and took care of him at the right moment.
Qualities that men appreciate in women, regardless of age
Sexuality
Sexuality attracts men like a magnet, but here we mean not the usual meaning of the word, but an internal state - innate or acquired. True sexuality is expressed not at all in scarlet lipstick, thickly let down eyes and a short skirt, but in what comes from within.
The hunter's instinct sits in each of the men, and when he catches a large supply of sexuality in a woman, he immediately becomes interested in a woman and this is not just sexual desire - it is a deeper interest. How to develop such sexuality in yourself? First of all, it is the presence of self-confidence, plasticity in every movement and gesture. Practice in front of a mirror how you look from the outside, hone your walk. Observe how often you smile or walk around with a sullen expression on your face?
Women who are not ideal in appearance, but smiling and friendly, will attract much more attention to themselves than eternally dissatisfied and arrogant beauties.
Internal sexuality does not mean the absence of external grooming and attractiveness. Most of the men said that they would like to see next to them, if not a beauty, but a woman who knows how to emphasize all her virtues, always has a neat make-up, clean styled hair, knows how to harmoniously combine things. Another important detail that men pay attention to is manicure and pedicure. It is not necessary to run to do nail extensions or paint them in bright colors, just keep your nails neat.
Intelligence
Men, as it is commonly thought, are not at all base creatures, and are looking for such a companion with whom it is interesting to talk and argue on sensitive issues. Moreover, it is important for a man to have an education in a woman, especially if he himself has a higher education - this suggests that such a woman has a definite goal in life and does not rely only on a man. Men appreciate in women when a lady does not get hung up on one thing, but develops, she is interested in everything new.
The concept of "intelligence" is quite extensive and includes the ability not to be arrogant and go ahead, but act like a real woman in any situation. Recently, it is very common to meet women who behave in a very strange way - they are rude, swear and provoke the same attitude towards themselves in response. As a result, they either remain alone, or find men weaker than themselves, because no real man needs such a woman.
Loyalty
Any man will answer that for a serious relationship, he wants to find a woman who would be distinguished by loyalty and devotion. Your chosen one may not arrange any fidelity checks for you, and you will think that he does not care with whom and where you spend your free time. But in fact, he just passively observes and draws conclusions, especially men, look at a woman at the beginning of a relationship. If they see that a woman is frivolous, giving out her phones to men and openly flirting with them, then he will decide that you are not particularly faithful.
Love and care
Men, although they hide it, love it when a woman can openly express her love for him, show concern for him.
In any relationship, there are significant moments when even the most successful man can show his weakness or experience a black streak in his life, and here female support is very important to him. Also, men do not like cold women emotionally, but rather dream of gentle and affectionate companions.
Hello our dear readers! In our article, we will talk with youabout the fidelity of men in a relationship. We will discuss how men view fidelity in a relationship. What kind of men seek to remain faithful to their woman. And by what signs can you recognize a potential traitor.
Is a man faithful in a relationship? Read in our article the conclusions of psychologists about male fidelity!
What is the loyalty of a man in a relationship
Loyalty of a mandifferent from the fidelity of a woman. And the root of the difference in fidelity is in nature itself. In the animal nature of man, instincts are directed towards the survival of the species. For the feminine, fidelity is expressed as follows - she finds a partner, they have children, and for quite a long time the woman is busy only with her offspring. Until nature again requires procreation.
Male instincts are built differently. While one partner is raising children, nature drives him to another, who does not yet have children. This is how the whole species survives.
But this is the animal basis of human nature! And it is not for nothing that man is the crown of creation! A person has consciousness, conscience and the possibility of choice - they should guide the behavior of a person.
Why men are not faithful in relationships
You can not stigmatize all men as traitors! Faithful and unfaithful in a relationship of men exactly 50/50! There are so many reasons for choosing in favor of fidelity or betrayal that psychologists have divided these reasons into groups.
Suggestion during adolescence
Education affects fidelity in the first place. Over 20% guys fidelity not stored at all. They were taught in childhood that a man must be popular with many women. And it starts with an innocent question to the kindergartner: “Girls, I suppose, are running after you in a crowd ?!”. And ends with the instructions of the "wise" uncle from the neighboring apartment: "Remember, kid, there should be a lot of women!"
As a result, a man becomes exactly the one who goes out into the street and immediately begins to look for another partner. Even if he is already in a relationship and happy, he does not leave a feeling of emptiness. Such men say: "I cheat and make sure that my wife is the best."
There is also a root and an attraction to a certain quality of a woman. Someone goes crazy with red hair, someone is delighted with a mole on the shoulder blade.
Inferiority complex
For self-affirmation, a man sometimes goes to madness. Even to the detriment of himself and his woman. Inferiority can also be suggested during adolescence - for example, he had acne and was teased. Or from excitement, the first sexual experience failed and the girl laughed at him. From now on, the guy proves his worth by changing partners. Such suggestions can only be corrected by a specialist.
Cheating in this case also shows a man's disrespect for himself and his choice. An insecure guy involuntarily begins to consider his beloved inferior. After all, a normal woman will not love him, such an insolvent one. Those with whom he cheats on his wife, by the way, are also inferior people in his eyes.
Hypersexuality
It doesn't just happen to young people. And over the course of life, hypersexuality can worsen. For example, a loved one refuses intimacy because of health or mood. The desire for intimacy does not disappear, and the man is in a hurry to satisfy the needs of the body, and it does not matter with whom. Such men, as a rule, do not see anything wrong with cheating. And they are cynical about intimacy itself - for them it is just a process.
Lack of love
Loyalty in relationshipsimpossible if a man does not love his woman. Especially if she forced him into a relationship or tied him to a family as a child. Or he stayed with his wife out of pity for her. And if he left the family for his mistress, then with a probability of up to 80% from his mistress, he will also “walk”. Because he is no longer afraid of the consequences of betrayal. And I am sure that the new passion will accept him if the current wife puts him out the door.
Why is a guy faithful in a relationship
Confident in his masculinity, in his choice, the guy does not enter into a relationship with the first person he meets. He carefully chooses a companion and therefore cherishes her.Appreciates whether this male fidelity– definitely yes. He will abandon even the best mistress and the most beautiful woman for treason.
The next reason is rarely discussed even among men. Sometimesman is faithfuldue to difficulties in intimate life. He is afraid to embarrass himself in front of another woman. And the wife knows about his temporary problems and treats them easily.
And it also happens that a woman who is authoritative in the eyes of a guy says about a man's loyalty . Often this is a mother or sister who is 7-10 years older than him. Her words become a kind of program. And having matured, a man does not even think about betrayal. Otherwise, in front of an authoritative woman, he will be very ashamed.
Another reason for loyalty may lie in disgust. The thought that a potential partner can infect him with something discourages the desire to even look at her.
Rarely, but still it happens that a man brings up fidelity in himself, so as not to set a bad example for his children. Especially if he is the father of several daughters. These are the same fathers from jokes who intimidate future sons-in-law.
And of course, the education of the future man. A child from a family where parents are faithful to each other will also be faithful to his wife.
Loyalty of a guy in a relationship is the result
Loyalty is above all trust. Without trust, a relationship either turns into an agreement, or exhausts both partners with mutual suspicion. Relationships like this just don't make sense.
Alas, modern culture and media show loyalty in relationships as a weakness of men. Music videos where a tough guy is in a crowd of beauties form frivolity on the part of men in a relationship. The result for the guys who believed this image is loneliness and disrespect from women.
Loyalty of a man extremely important for a woman. So much so that she is ready to forgive his not very small shortcomings.
Fidelity of a man in a relationship: conclusion
Healthy and happy relationships are impossible without fidelity. Often, a woman has to try hard to remain faithful to her man. First of all, you need to provide him with diversity in relationships. A woman should change her hairstyle, wardrobe and rearrange her bedroom at least once every six months. Her man will get the impression that he already starts a new relationship twice a year. And then other women will not be needed - his own wife will be much more interesting to him!
Be happy! See you again on our blog!