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Dear E. Essas.
Why does it happen that you accidentally meet a person who behaves normally, looks normal, but he is very unpleasant to you and causes you very hostile feelings towards him.
You communicate with him absolutely normally, politely and friendly, and he is also polite and friendly with you, but the strong rejection of this person remains one hundred percent.
I personally met the same rejection, and often and not often - from other people in relation to me.
Is there an explanation for this, from your point of view (as a rabbi)?
Thank you, if you consider it necessary (necessary) to answer.
You very clearly described the “phenomenon” that is widespread in our reality, when people (this happens to almost everyone) unexpectedly for themselves can experience negative feelings for a complete stranger, without having any information about him - negative feelings (irritation, hostility, etc.). ). And they are not able to explain to themselves where this seemingly unsupported feeling came from. It seems that, as you write, a person "behaves normally, looks normal." Polite and friendly. But…
Well, if this is a casual, non-binding acquaintance: they met - they parted. But what if unconscious rejection arises in relation to, say, some, albeit not a close relative, whom you still have to see from time to time, or, let's say, to a colleague who works in the same room as you ?
Perhaps if you could understand what the “trick” is, it would be much easier to deal with problems of this kind. However, from a rational, materialistic point of view, this riddle, perhaps, cannot be solved.
It is known that the French writer Marcel Proust struggled with this for a very solid part of his life, devoting his seven-volume literary work In Search of Lost Time to the study of this topic. The same attempt at about the same time (the first half of the 20th century) was made by the famous Irish writer James Joyce in his voluminous (thousand-page) novel Ulysses.
Now I will try to explain the phenomenon you described from the standpoint of the Torah.
Let's start with the fact that the soul of every person, figuratively speaking, like some kind of impartial "video camera", captures all the events of his life - significant and insignificant, large and small. It captures everything that a person has to face, including what the owner of this soul did not even pay any attention to. And - in all time periods throughout human life. And from all this infinitely huge amount of information and impressions in it, the soul, there remains a certain, indefinably voluminous “sediment” (in Hebrew - rosh).
This rosh daily, hourly and every second replenished. For the previous rosh a new one is superimposed, giving rise to new impressions, showing something, something, on the contrary, muffling, obscuring.
In other words, the soul, in a certain sense, is a “locomotive” that drags a train of innumerable cars behind it. And in each car there is its own unique content, woven from “pictures” of the present and the past, and maybe fragments of episodes from the life of previous generations that have settled somewhere.
So when you meet someone, the incredibly multidimensional space of your soul collides with the multidimensional space of the soul of that person you met. And somewhere, both in you and in him, there are certain areas that, intersecting, can give rise to images and associations that are unconscious to a person. Sometimes pleasant, sometimes repulsive.
Relatively speaking, you, for example, can, at the subconscious level, catch in a stranger a resemblance (not necessarily external, but, say, in some kind of movement, facial expressions, gesture, etc.) with one of the images imprinted by the soul. And the feeling, positive or negative, that arises in you when you meet, will depend on the emotional coloring of that image in rosheme your soul.
In passing, I note that the phenomena of this series probably also include what we call “déjà vu” - when a person who finds himself in an unfamiliar place (or in unfamiliar circumstances) has the feeling that he was once here already (which some of these circumstances and/or visual images seem familiar to him). I think it’s clear that such a “hint” is given precisely by rosh.
But back to the main topic of our conversation - to the phenomenon when a person can feel an inexplicable dislike for a stranger.
However, it also happens the other way around: a stranger, for no apparent reason, disposes to himself, causing pleasant, bright feelings. And then, if the acquaintance continues - to replace them, sometimes bitter disappointment can come to such feelings.
What to do with all this? How do you deal with people you don't know anything about? Whether to listen to "intuitive" sensations?
The correct attitude towards a stranger, when there is no reliable information about him, is determined in the Talmud by our Teachers. It is necessary, without concentrating on the “first impression,” they instruct, “(regardless of whether he made a good impression on you or a bad one), treat a person kindly and favorably, with respect. And at the same time, “turn on the verification mechanism” (an echo of this Talmudic rule, by the way, was the proverb “trust, but verify” that has become entrenched in Russian culture).
It is important to maintain a certain balance between the two "elements" named here. On the one hand, do not give vent to negative emotions, but also do not open your arms, so as not to become a victim of thoughtless goodwill. On the other hand, do not raise the verification system to a paranoid level.
It should always be remembered, among other things, that each individual, specific case is individual. Therefore, the “tactics” of behavior in different situations when meeting strangers can and should be different.
And in conclusion, I will give one general, fairly universal recommendation.
Try to be calm in situations like this. Accumulate life experience. Study the Torah, increase the quantity and improve the quality of your good deeds - this helps you better navigate life, develops observation skills, the ability to properly build communication with people and the skill in assessing a human personality.
Did you have such a feeling, sometimes you just meet a stranger, but it seems as if you have known him all your life?
Or here's an example: a complete stranger can cause you a strong antipathy or you can feel the mood of each other at a distance. And there is also such a strange feeling when you experience a strong connection or attraction to a stranger.
All this happened to each of us and it's not casual!
The human soul is made of very thin matter. It exists outside of time and space, developing and periodically settling in a new body. And although most people do not remember their past incarnations, some information is still stored at the subconscious level. This is where our irrational fears, premonitions, and talents come from, for example. When people meet whose souls were familiar in past incarnations, they inevitably experience a number of strange sensations. Here's how to understand that you met a friend from a past life.
1. Feeling of instant attraction or dislike
This feeling can seem rather strange: you suddenly feel a strong connection or attraction to a stranger. This may mean that you were once very close, perhaps they are your family members, friends, or even loved ones. Sometimes the opposite happens: a complete stranger causes you a strong antipathy. Most likely, the soul of his predecessor harmed you in some way. In this case, you should not push these people away, do not transfer the insults of the past into a new life. Try to find contact with this person, to establish peace between your souls.
2. You feel each other from a distance
This feeling can be even more frightening and strange, but it is as if you are communicating with this person telepathically. For example, you want to say something, and the person says it at the same second. In addition, you can feel each other's mood from a distance: when your friend feels bad, something seems to be ticking inside you and some kind of impulse urges you to call him or come to visit.
3. You know what the other person needs
This person seems familiar to you. Next to him, you feel as if you have known him all your life. You know how to console him, make him laugh, cheer him up. His eyes seem especially familiar to you. There is a saying that the eyes are the mirrors of the soul, but some people believe that when the soul passes into another body, the same eyes remain.
Our soul has information from previous lives. This is necessary so that the human spirit can grow and develop, become better. But it also means that we can all have unresolved issues or bad karma following us from the past. If you think that life throws good and bad things in your path for no reason, you may be wrong. It can be punishment or praise for what your soul has done before.
Have you ever met a soul mate from a past life? Do you believe in the immortality of the soul? Share your opinion in the comments!
Our relatives and friends sometimes bring
we have more trouble than strangers
Recently I received the following email:
Hello. I recently became a reader of your newsletter - it is fascinatingly written, and most importantly, it is true. I am interested in one aspect related to the so-called manifestations of good and bad in a person - why do bad sides appear in us more often in relation to close people? After all, you see, in front of strangers we often try to show ourselves better than we really are. And only relatives see us "in all its glory", so to speak. I know this from my own experience - very often in a fit of anger or irritation you behave rather ugly, with your parents, for example. And then you are tormented by remorse and think that in front of someone else you would not allow yourself to behave like that. Or do you feel the same on yourself - the person you love and know that he has the same feeling for you, behaves with you in such a way that you are surprised - is it him? And where are his virtues that inspire such delight to you and others? And you involuntarily think that in front of any other woman he would not allow himself such a thing.
What is it - a manifestation of our selfishness or weakness? After all, sometimes only those close to us know about our manifestations, and does this mean that we demonstrate our weaknesses to them in this way?
Thank you.
Sincerely, Victoria.
Curious questions. If a person himself admits his shortcomings, then he is worth something, because this is a necessary condition in order to get rid of them.
Let's dig.
The world is made of contradictions
If now mortal enemies appeared among earthlings - some kind of Martians who would decide to pump out our atmosphere and oceans for their own needs, and put the globe into consumption, then our entire planet would rally into a single pole of opposition to the aggressor. People would despise religious, national, ideological and other differences, and all mankind would unite in their common struggle against an external enemy. But we don’t have extraterrestrial enemies yet, so people spend the energy of their natural aggression on internal struggle: international and market competition, confrontation between political parties, various ideologies (value systems), wars, scandals, and other fuss.
Take the most united people in the world. Why did he rally? Or rather, against whom? Against external forces - other nations. But if external forces disappeared, then the struggle between its internal poles: various clans and political forces would intensify within this single people.
No matter how much you break a piece of magnet in half, hoping to separate the plus from the minus, each piece will still have both poles. If there are no interplanetary contradictions (with the Martians), then international ones are aggravated; if international ones are weakened, domestic ones will become aggravated; remove intrastate ones - intracity, intrafamily, etc. will become aggravated.
The world is woven from contradictions - the poles of confrontation. Every moment in every point of the universe there is a struggle of opposites. Any government will always have opposition. Any hero from the opposite point of view the villain. But the world is not good and bad forces, but there are only opposing sides with their own interests. Not of good and evil, but there are only opposite energy statuses.
If contradictions are removed from the world, it will collapse. Remove everything from the world evil- utopia, because the remaining good immediately split into better and less good, i.e., again on good and evil.
Inside each person, like a piece of a magnet, there are also internal opposite poles. Each one has good and bad. Most kind a person can show aggression to others (we talked about this).
Aggression - a property of all living things - the basis of conflicts
All living beings eat each other. Even the most innocent vegetarian kills carrots and horseradish. Our body will also once go to feed other starving objects of the Universe. When we brush our teeth, we arrange the end of the world for several generations of bacteria living in the mouth. That's life. This is aggression.
In the conventional sense, aggression is an attack. This is a malicious infliction of damage to someone out of gross selfish motives. However, this is an extreme form of aggression in the narrow sense of the term. Aggression, in the broad sense of the word, is not only the desire to hit an opponent in the face. Aggression is the desire to make a movement towards the surrounding world, it is any interference in the affairs of the world, it is overcoming the resistance of the world. The world is already full of conflicting problems, and here we are with our needs: "Please, excuse me, dear world, that I am addressing you. Can I walk over you, touch you, breathe you, partially drink you and take a bite out of you And I will also perform the second part of a single metabolic process on you? And don’t think, I’m not an aggressor - I don’t demand too much! Such simple questions and statements as: “where are you disappearing?”, “why don’t you call me?”, “do as I do”, “buy yourself a vacuum cleaner” are manifestations of aggression (of course, not to its extreme degree), because they reflect the individual's desire to extend his influence to those around him. Sexual attraction is also a manifestation of aggression (by the way, the ritual movements of courtship and attacks in many species of animals begin the same way, which indicates their common essence).
Every organization wants to expand. Every living organism wants to subjugate the whole world to itself: "If I cannot take possession of the world myself, then I will spread my seed so that my descendants can do it!" - the instinctive motto of any living subject. (It is not easy for beautiful girls, whom everyone they meet wants to impregnate in the hope of letting their offspring walk around the Universe. A woman dreams of being fertilized, but not by the first woman who has come across, but by the best and, preferably, with mutual sympathy). Every undergrowth in the soul cherishes the hope of victory over the world, but the world is incredibly stronger and full of unimaginable grandeur. And every old man understands his defeat in the struggle of life (we will not breed a fruitless discussion here about life after life, because this is not a matter of knowledge, but of faith; in addition, the discussion itself is located).
All in all, if alive, it means aggressive, for, "aggression serves to preserve life" ( Konrad Lorenz, Nobel Prize Laureate).
Living beings need to spend their vital energy (aggression) on fighting the outside world, because the world is constantly pressing on them. Life is impossible without movement. Movement is the result of the struggle of opposites: we move forward because we are driven by fear and attracted by pleasure. Complete calm ruins and drives you crazy. Every living being invades the lives of those around him with his selfish interests, just by virtue of his existence. Therefore, people tend to strain each other. This is a manifestation of aggression in the form of intraspecific struggle. Intraspecific competition is more aggressive than interspecific (unless the species are at war with each other for food or territory, like tigers and leopards) - when a tiger pursues an antelope, its face does not express anger, as when meeting with another tiger, but rather passion. Due to temporarily coinciding interests, people go hand in hand, but conflicts are inevitable in a close hostel. Therefore, sometimes it is better to be friends from a distance.
The weak are offended. The strong are afraid
People also tend to annoy those who are weaker more (you can be lenient, but for the time being, for the time being - in besieged Leningrad, some people ate their dogs and cats). The strong are feared and therefore they try not to openly interfere with their aspirations for their own good. What do you think, to whom were the marshals of the Headquarters of the Supreme High Command more often rude: to their beloved wives or to Comrade Stalin? Let me remind you of the words of Niccolo Machiavelli: "People are more likely to offend the one for whom they feel love than the one for whom they feel fear." Not always, of course, but usually.
Why are strangers polite to each other?
Let's first answer the question: why does an unfamiliar cat usually not bother us? Obviously, because it doesn’t matter to us what impression she will have of us due to her stupidity, and we are sure that she will not tell anyone anything bad about us. And also because we are not afraid of her and in general we do not consider her to be a person.
An unfamiliar bear already confuses us more, even if he doesn’t say anything bad about us to anyone, because if he likes us (like dinner), he will eat us, and if we don’t like him (like an enemy), he will bite us - we are afraid of him .
A stranger - not a cat or even a bear - he has more brains. Therefore, we are concerned about what first impression he will develop about us (if someone says: “I don’t give a damn about the opinions of others about me,” then let him answer the question: why in the exhausting heat he doesn’t walk around the streets of the city naked or at least in shorts, isn’t it more convenient? I suppose that, including because he does not want to arouse sympathy among the police). The first impression people try to make on others, like advertising, is designed to attract a "customer" and is often deceptive. In advertising, they usually don’t write: “bring us your money, take the junk in return and get out,” although they often think that way. When communicating with strangers, we, as a rule, advertise ourselves, therefore, most often we behave courteously - we often say not what we really think, but what pleasantly falls on the interlocutor's ear - in general, we try to demonstrate the plausible sides of our personality. In addition, a stranger for us is not yet a specific person, but an average type. Until we get to know him better, we can assume that he is capable of everything that can be expected from a person. This may cause some concern: what if he is a notorious psychopath or a shameless rogue?
Relationships between loved ones
With loved ones, everything is clear. They know us well, so we don't have to worry about giving them a first impression (promoting ourselves). We, in turn, know them well, so their reaction to our attacks is more predictable for us. If the mood is lousy or there are disagreements, then you can arrange a dispersal for them. They love us, so they will endure. And forgive. However, if dad is strict, then the daughter will not be rude to him, like mom.
Therefore, indeed, if people annoy their neighbors, they usually do it by virtue of their selfishness- a source of aggression. And by virtue of its weaknesses("He who is a tiger at home is usually a sheep outside of him" ( Theodor Gippel)). Weak people who are oppressed at work by evil bosses in order to feel their strength often take revenge on their household members. Such behavior is no better than betrayal, because that is exactly what it is. "I feel good when you feel bad" is the motto of unbalanced and unsatisfied weaklings.
I dare say that most "in love" hang on their loved one the shackles of their unbearable jealousy, put him in the prison of their claims and call such violence love. It is not easy for them to come to terms with the idea that their loved one, although so dear, nevertheless does not belong to them (in this world, everyone is left to himself and if he sacrifices himself or his freedom for the sake of others, then he does it voluntarily). This is, of course, a matter of taste - some people like to belong to someone, but such relations - relations of property, such as those that flourish in the bazaar market - are nothing more than a simple desire to own a person as a thing. This is a passion based on gross egoism (for oneself at the expense of the freedom of another), from which one step is one step to hatred. This is an ordinary game. Everything in life is a frivolous game. "Adults are children, only their toys are different" ( Skileph).
True, not everyone does this with their loved ones. If a person is reasonable, as well as tolerant of others and generous (which Victoria strives to be), then, returning home out of sorts, he will leave all his problems at the door and will not come off on his relatives. Strong and whole natures are noble. They will never indulge in quarrelsome words, not only with loved ones, but also with any other people. They are above petty troubles. And foul language is especially not for them. If their relatives tire them, they will show condescension towards them, and will not be offended and rowdy, but only conduct constructive dialogues. "People of a small mind are sensitive to petty insults; people of a big mind notice everything and are not offended by anything" ( François de La Rochefoucauld).
We are well aware that our relatives and friends are not the most worthy people on Earth, however, our duty (voluntary) is to bring to our relatives and friends what we call good- and first of all spare their nerves. And carry them an honorable mission bad, which is also necessary for life balance, let the neighbors from above and unsatisfied aunts in public transport take over.
Reading 5 min.
Have you ever had memories from a past life? Do you believe that we all once already lived, and the people who are nearby were also nearby many hundreds of years ago? Where does the recognition of favorite features in a hitherto unfamiliar person come from? And why sometimes a stranger seems to be more related to a real relative by blood? Past lives exist. And here's an example for you. "Why do I feel like I know you?" Once again, technology has helped them meet across time and distance. How pleasant it was for her to see his shining eyes, so familiar and dear that there was a feeling that she had always known them. He gently smiled at her from the monitor screen and told her another interesting case from life. “You know, it seems to me that we definitely met before. Sometime in other lives, many, many years ago ... ”- there was a note of thoughtful sadness and slight nostalgia in his voice. She was surprised at this change of subject. Considering that I myself inadvertently just thought about ...
Have you ever shown memories from a past life? Do you believe that we all once already lived, and the people who are nearby were also nearby many hundreds of years ago? Where does the recognition of favorite features in a hitherto unfamiliar person come from? And why sometimes a stranger seems to be more related to a real relative by blood? Past lives exist. And here's an example for you.
"Why do I feel like I know you?"
Once again, technology has helped them meet across time and distance. How pleasant it was for her to see his shining eyes, so familiar and dear that there was a feeling that she had always known them. He gently smiled at her from the monitor screen and told her another interesting case from life. “You know, it seems to me that we definitely met before. Sometime in other lives, many, many years ago…” – there was a note of thoughtful sadness and slight nostalgia in his voice. She was surprised at this change of subject. Given that she herself inadvertently just thought about the same thing. “You won’t believe it, but I also thought about it. There is something about you that cannot be put into words. Very familiar. It seems to me that in past lives we had similar facial features as in this life. Maybe that's why we get to know each other. It is impossible to forget those whom you sincerely loved. Even in past incarnations. If only we could remember who we were, who we were, who we were. And when our fates crossed for the last time. A spark slipped through his eyes. “What if…” he thought. - "Let's try the practice of remembering the past life". There was a gleam of enthusiasm in her eyes now: “How??? Is that allowed? Do you know how? Can you? Wow!!! Tell me, tell me quickly! He laughed. How much he liked her slightly childish curiosity and inexhaustible adventurism. "So that's it..."Vision from the past
She sat in a chair with her eyes closed and listened attentively to his voice. The voice guided her through the labyrinths of memory to the place where they had once lived. “Now you are there. What do you see? Who are you? What is around? What time is it, country?” A vision opened before her mind's eye. At first it was very uncertain, fuzzy. She increased her attention and the outlines became more clear: “I am in nature, a clearing, grass ... I am a woman ... a girl. Young." “Yes, yes. I see you too" it was a collaborative practice, where he acted as both a host and a participant at the same time. “What else do you see? What is your name?” She saw herself as a young girl, 22-24 years old, from the merchant class. Green sunny meadow on a hillside. A river flowed below, behind the river were mountain ranges. It was France in the 17th century. Times of Cardinal Richelieu. She was wearing a brown dress. The hair is blond. She traveled. It was a parking lot for a short rest after a tiring road. Now she began to understand why France had been so attracted to her all her life, especially the times of the musketeers and kings. The memory of the past made itself felt. He also saw it and confirmed everything she said. When she named something about herself or around her slightly hesitantly, he almost always confirmed her vision. "What is your name?" She thought: "I think Sue ... Something like that, in C." “And I’m getting information that your name is Anna,” he corrected. “Yes, exactly, Susanna!” — how everything converged in their vision! The girl Susanna was not alone in the clearing. A boy, about 6 years old, was running nearby. This is her son. She called the name - Henri. He named the same. "Do you see me?" She did not see a man nearby. Only a child. “Turn back. I stand above you on the slope. Now she looked through the eyes of herself from the past. The vision became richer and more realistic. She turned around. Indeed, a man was standing up the slope by the carriage, talking to the groom. He was a tall, handsome man with long blond hair. Apparently of noble origin. She realized that he was her husband. To check, she asked: "How do you look?". He listed everything she saw, right down to the color of the clothes. The man's name was Antoine, 32 years old. (The name was longer, unfortunately, it was not remembered). So, they were a happy and loving married couple with a child. They were traveling from France to another country carrying an important letter. Some kind of war loomed on the horizon ...Everything is real
Where does recognition come from when two strangers meet? Where does the feeling of something dear and close from a completely stranger come from? We've all met before. And if the connection was very strong and sincere, then the memory does not completely disappear during rebirth. We recognize loved ones and are loved by unchanging features, by eyes, by character. Feelings can not be deceived. The soul will always recognize the true lover even after many hundreds of years. The events described above are a real experiment. A little startling in that the memories were seen by more than one person. Two people saw the same thing at the same time. It is difficult to say what it was - a hypnotic trance or an altered state of consciousness, I know only one thing - when two people destined for each other meet, then they can create not such miracles together. Because their strength increases disproportionately! So you still do not believe in memories from a past life?Have you met people with whom you felt a kindred spirit? A person who is his own at first sight?
And this is not a lightning strike, not love at first sight, this is a feeling of happiness, quiet, real, with a touch of nostalgia. Native - from the word Motherland or relatives. Feeling of warmth and all-encompassing causeless love. You feel so good next to such a person, you want to be with him always, not to let go, never and nowhere. It gives you fullness, you feel a surge of those forces that you have lost, this is “déjà vu”, as the French say - there has already been, there has already been this happiness in my life - you think, and you are happy again. Of course, this joy, one might even say childish delight, this wonderful feeling - “Here it is! the present! my!" This joy must not end! Not! And you start enjoying… and then you become addicted…. and some time later you start to get nervous, jealous…. and then time passes, and suddenly you realize that something is wrong, something is not right here ... that this is a strange relationship, it would seem that the person closest to you, but you are not getting something, there is no progress, no development. And if you add that many years have passed since your wedding, you have children, but for some reason everything is not right, you seem to have missed something important. This is inexplicable, because you perfectly remember the sensations that your chosen one evoked at that moment. And where did everything go? Where is the mistake? What is the trap?
Remember the moments when you were happy: in childhood or adolescence, in a certain company, but most often this moment in childhood itself is associated with parents. You were serenely happy then... From a Human Design perspective, the flip side of this story might look something like this.
Ours consists of connected channels through which our energy flows. Some channels work from birth, and there are no problems here. Other channels in the rave map are only filled on one side - so we always have a "gate" for energy. Having such a gate gives us a chance to use the full channel, and get some experience with the working full channel. And we are striving for cooperation, for friendship "according to interests" - and this is nothing more than a donor-recipient relationship. Relationships where everyone gives something to each other will be especially delightful and productive. For example, you have 8 gates, and your friend/partner has 1 gate of the same channel 8-1. You completely complement each other, give a chance to live and realize the energy of the 8-1 channel. And what becomes whole (in this case channel 8-1) is the source of harmony. Do you understand how it works?
Now back to our fictional "love" story. So here's what it's all about. Now think about if you lived a very long time with your parents, the time of your childhood and youth, which is quite normal. And it was a happy time that you always remember with warmth and tenderness. You just lived and enjoyed, because you did not know anything about Human Design) In fact, you may have been very lucky, and, for example, your father or mother had that missing donor channel in their bodygraph. Do you understand? Your father/mother made you happy, more whole. And if you carried this feeling of wholeness through the years, then you will never forget it. And as soon as you meet in your life another person who is completely unfamiliar to you, but who has such a “native” channel for you in his bodygraph, you will experience a feeling of “soul kinship”, this may be some trap))) You will think that you were returned to you 🙂 But you will not know that you remember the parent-child relationship, and the husband is neither a parent nor a child. Thus, one can experience disappointment when your body, the memory of your design, can set you up like this.
Of course, this is not “oh, what a tragedy,” you say, “after all, how many people have lived, are living, and will live like this. » It will, but if such a science exists, then why not use this gift? Why not get to know yourself and your partner more deeply? Or maybe your man is not so yours? It is sad to live life with a partner that is not correct for you. Of course, there are always trials and errors in any relationship. But, you see, it is much more correct to live YOUR life with YOUR person!!!
P.S. Search and find, I hope, your person 🙂 Human Design will help you, my patient and inquisitive friends!